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7 Ways to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
It is a very small word, but sometimes it is very difficult to use. We use this word very easily with our spouse and children, but find it difficult to say it to others.
So the trick is to figure out how and when to say no. I’m not saying be selfish and never help anyone. However, most people run away under stress because they say yes to everyone but themselves.
You should only say yes when you really want to do something.
You feel excited about doing it, or it’s about your life goals or definition of success.
You don’t need another meeting first to say no
If you’ve planned an evening out (bubble bath, reading, TV, whatever…) and you’re invited, it doesn’t automatically mean you have to accept. Meeting yourself is as important as meeting other people. Value your time! Realize that when you say yes to one thing, you are ALWAYS saying no to something else.
When this happens, you’re usually saying no to the more important parts of your life—God, family, yourself. For example, you are asked to help a committee at your child’s school. You may be so busy with committee work that you deprive your child of quality time. Another example is someone at work who collects money for birthdays, leaves gifts, etc. say yes to everyone and no to your own financial future.
Don’t instinctively say yes. First, take some time to think about it.
Always check your diary before starting plans. Or just take a deep breath. Otherwise, you will say yes to everything and at the end of a busy period, you will almost burn out.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes to say yes
When you first have to say no to something or someone, it feels terrible. But when you realize you made the right decision by saying no, it’s incredibly empowering. It’s an acquired skill, and the more you use your “no” muscle, the stronger it will become. I promise.
When you say yes and you get hurt, it means you should have said no
Learn to listen to your heart. The Bible says that we should not give reluctantly or under compulsion, yet many of us do. We say yes and feel deep resentment and bitterness. Nothing good comes from a sad relationship.
It’s easier to say no when you’re confident in your abilities
When you say no firmly and unapologetically, it shows your self-worth and is a way of defending yourself. Men seem to be very good at this, but women want to explain everything and apologize when they say no.
You don’t have to be rude or ugly about it – there are many ways to say no
It can’t be “I can’t help you this time,” “I can only do it next month,” “that’s not my strong suit,” or just “no thanks.”
Make a quality decision this month to look at your schedule and see where you say yes to activities or commitments that don’t support your goals. Then try saying no to them so you can say yes to more important things.
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