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The English Class

A group of 20 migrant Mexicans entered a classroom for “Beginner English” at the “Shakespeare English School” in a town in Texas. As the students took their seats scattered around the room, a tall man in a coat and tie walked in. He walked towards the teacher’s desk with a pile of papers in his hand. He looked up at the students and said, “Hello!” The students repeated the words “Hello” in their best American accents. “Very Good!” the teacher said. “My name is ‘Peter Baker.'” The class said, “My..name is…” He stopped suddenly, pointing to himself, and said, “Peter Baker.” Then he said to each student in the class, “My name is.. ” he called to say and each said his name.

Peter called a student dressed in a nice industrial suit. “Okay…Sir..My name is…” Before the teacher could finish the sentence, the man boldly said in an English English accent, “What rubbish! My name is Juan Carlos II from Mexico, State of Hidalgo. I. I speak English very well” .

Peter stared at her in disbelief. “Do you speak English?”

“Are you stupid, man? Of course I speak English!”

“Then why are you taking this beginners class and how do you speak so well?”

“Good man, when I started learning English many years ago, I knew as little English as anyone here. I moved from Mexico to London, England on a scholarship to King’s College. When I went to my first ‘beginner’ course, I made the unfortunate mistake of sitting in an intermediate class on the works of William Shakespeare. I gave in. I barely understood English, but I quickly realized I was a prodigy. I went on to take more English literature classes and graduated from Oxford University.”

Peter and the other classmates looked at Juan Carlos in amazement.

“So why are you in this beginner class?”

“I’m here to apply for a position as an advanced English teacher, and I’ve decided to observe a class.”

“Are you an American citizen? Do you have a ‘green card’ to work here in the US?”

“No, but it is resolved.”

Peter said, “But sir, you must have a green card to work in this country.”

“I don’t need a green card to work in this country,” Juan Carlos proudly said.

“Then you leave me no choice but to report you to the authorities.”

– You wouldn’t dare, sir!

– Sit down, like everyone else! Peter said angrily.

Juan Carlos looked concerned and looked around, understanding her situation. His only response was:

“No hablo ingles.”