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Dr. Romance on How to Stretch Time

Dr Romance writes:

Would you like to stretch your time – stretch the time you have and use it more for what you really want to do? Stretching is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, deliberate action, and a playful approach.

Self-awareness:

As with all successful life skills, timing works best if you know yourself well. When you’re aware of your priorities—for example, where do work, relationships, family, and fun fall on the “Most Important” list? Are you spending the most time on the most important thing?

If you learn to control your personal and family time, you will be more effective and less stressed. Families need to sit down together and decide what activities are really worth doing and what are just “rat races.” Learning to avoid “time sinks” (such as unnecessary e-mail, people talking too much on the TV, or on the phone) is very important, because certain people and activities can be time-consuming and not worth it. “Being aware of the times” is the best way to achieve balance.

If you are a parent, you need time too. This can be achieved by allowing children over the age of seven to spend occasional nights at friends’ houses and then interact. This gives both sets of parents a chance to be alone, to go out, to take a break. Multiple families (related or not) have time, driving, babysitting trades, etc. shared “family networks” can really expand the leisure time each family enjoys.

The key is to strike a balance between work/play, self/others, give/take and leisure/financial security. Achieving a balance between work and the rest of your life is key to avoiding burnout. You will be better at doing this if you are self-aware, consider your options, plan your personal and work time, and learn to be flexible.

A sense of purpose:

As you become more aware of your priorities, you may also discover a sense of purpose. Or, maybe you already know what your goal is. However you’ve made it (and I’ve provided instructions in both The Real 13-Step and It’s Over With You if you want more info) knowing what you want to do with your life saves a lot of time. Once you know your goal, many of the decisions are made in advance—it becomes a process of deciding which actions will get you closer to your goal and which won’t, saving you time spent trying, fiddling, and indecisiveness.

Learning to be patient and calm also increases time and relieves stress. Developing patience is really about learning impulse control: learn to shake off “emotional retention” and stress; How to get out when something gets to you. It’s a matter of self-control. To gain patience, you need to stop the impulse to quit, change your thinking/behavior, call a friend for encouragement. People who need to learn to be patient don’t know how to communicate when they are impulsive or how to stop. They often have a sense of entitlement (“I just didn’t want to wait,” he said with some pride) and a lack of emotional maturity. They are essentially like emotional three-year-olds in adult bodies. To learn the necessary patience and determination to achieve long-term goals, practice small things first and learn how to sort out what is worth persevering with and what is not.

For example, there are situations and people where you have to work a little harder to understand what they mean, to not misunderstand what they say, or to be a little more patient around them because they have different personalities or styles. your

Perhaps you have encountered people at work, with friends or among relatives who try your patience. Sometimes people are hard to handle because they remind us of other people we’ve had problems with in the past, so we’re attracted and frustrated at the same time. Others may be difficult for many people around. Problems with a familiar type of person may not surface until you are already bonded and involved as a friend or partner.

The following exercise will help you step back and look at others as sources of information about yourself, look at people from a different angle, and use the people who upset you as a reflection of the inner dynamics behind your struggles.

To give up the little things:

1: Perspective — put them in perspective — will it matter an hour from now — fifteen minutes from now? There won’t be many of them.

2. Self-awareness: If someone or something is making you angry, don’t make the problem worse by reacting. Reactions are normal – it’s what we do with them that matters.

3: Rise Up: If someone scared you (the driver who cut you off) then say a little prayer of thanks for being alive, bless the other driver (who probably needs it) and you’ll feel better.

4. Benefit of the doubt: If someone has hurt your feelings, admit that your feelings were hurt, then consider that the other person is more awkward than intentionally hurting you. The world is full of emotional klutzes who don’t realize the impact of their words and actions, and they create more problems for themselves than for you.

5. Consider the source: A really nasty neighbor or co-worker can hurt your feelings many times. Think about what was going on in that person’s mind and be thankful you didn’t hear it. Even the meanest people are more disgusted with themselves than with others. That person is trying to ease his pain by influencing you a little.

Thoughtful action:

Acting thoughtfully rather than impulsively means your actions are effective and therefore save more time.

Since time is valuable, learn to budget it the same way you budget your money. In counseling my clients, I’ve found that putting yourself on a “time diet” works wonders. From “time sink” — TV, computer, e-mail, etc. and beware of phone conversations with people who talk too much. Learn to say no to unnecessary waste of time so that you can spend more time on the things that are important to you. Knowing how to balance and prioritize, collaborate and plan your time is key so that everything falls into place. Individuals and couples must prioritize, collaborate and plan their time so that everything has its place. “Being aware of the times” is the best way to achieve balance. Achieving a balance between work and the rest of your life is key to avoiding burnout. You will be better at doing this if you are self-aware, consider your options, plan your personal and work time, and learn to be flexible.

Sometimes it saves time to have duplicate tools and supplies — like scissors, makeup, nail files, etc. in several places around the house. have them where you need them when you want them or if you travel a lot, like I do, have your travel kit with the essentials and keep it just for travel. I have separate “kits” for several activities: one for the gym, one for the pool, one for my music lessons, one for the church choir. When I get home from a trip or workout, I refill the kit so it’s ready for next time. For example, when I come home from the pool, I take out the wet towels, put the dry ones – and I’m ready to go next time.

A playful approach:

A playful approach may not be particularly time-consuming, but it makes the time spent feel worth it. One way to enjoy your time and be more fulfilled is to remember that life isn’t all about seriousness — we all need a little fun to really feel that life is worth living. Yes, fun. You remember the fun! Enjoyment, humor, leisure activities, and silliness are our ways to recharge, renew our energy, restore our hope and positive outlook, and connect with others.

Fun doesn’t depend on spending money or going to extremes. It does not depend on a certain circumstance, companion or activity and does not require a lot of time.. Having fun is an internal process. You can sit quietly and think about interesting or pleasant things, or work in your garden, pet a cat, talk quietly with a friend, or play cards with a few. Singing, dancing, playing sports, and drawing are fun pastimes for some people. If you’re anything like me, playing with your brain is fun. Fun also creates a deep inner connection. Through play, we reconnect with our hearts, our child selves, and the intuitive, spontaneous part of our psyche.

For many people today (in part, no doubt, because of the images of pleasure seen in the media), the definition of fun has been distorted. Some ideas of fun are associated with extreme ideas, such as having a few drinks or engaging in “extreme” sports. Some people think they have to spend a lot of money on traveling or eating out to have fun. Others think they need to be around the “right people” to have fun. The saddest are those who rely on others to “create” their entertainment.

Most of us think of entertaining as something we do on special occasions, something that requires a little advance planning. We have entire industries dedicated to helping us play, as if a new theme park opens every week. But when you look back at your most joyful life experiences, they are more likely to be spontaneous and simple than complicated and expensive. Play is recreation, that is, an activity that “recreates” us, makes us look at life differently and is refreshed by change.

You don’t have to separate play and fun from everything else you do. A light-hearted approach to serious issues is often the most productive. Try to laugh — get yourself a desktop calendar with a new cartoon every day, share a joke you got via email, tell a coworker something cute your kid said (or listen to his story), or talk about a funny scene in the latest hit movie — – will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse, and generally help relieve a lot of stress.

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