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Communication – Two Communication Skills That Build Trust and Friendship Fast
In successful communication, is there anything more important than the words you say? “Yes,” there are two other ways you can build trust and friendship…that are more important than your words being perfect.
Entertainers and professional speakers know the secret. They connect with their audiences through eye contact and facial expression. In your personal and business life, you can also be more dynamic with facial and eye expression.
WHEN YOUR EYES MEET – YOU START COMMUNICATING
“One of the most obvious aspects of behavior when speaking to another person is where you look. Looking directly at the person while you speak helps to communicate your sincerity and increase the directness of your message ,” say Robert Alberti and Michael Emmons, in the seventh edition of their best-selling book “Your Perfect Right, A Guide to Assertive Living.”
You may have experienced the frustration of talking to someone who has read the paper, and while he or she may have been able to repeat every word you said, you didn’t feel like you were being heard. You may have felt slighted when you spoke to someone at a meeting who seemed to scan the room looking for someone else.
When you make an effort to look directly at the people you are talking to, you show them respect, make them feel important, and you create a more positive relationship with family, friends, co-workers and customers,
More importantly, avoiding eye contact can make you look sly, guilty, shy, or scared. The general expression, “He couldn’t look me in the eye,” is often used to describe the guilt of another person.
When using eye contact, be careful not to stare, blink, or blink rapidly. It’s more natural to look away from time to time in a relaxed, comfortable way.
YOUR FACE SINCERENESS
“Have you ever seen someone trying to express anger while smiling? It just doesn’t come across as honest. Effective assertions require an expression that matches the message,” Alberti and Emmons say. If you send mixed messages, others will believe your facial expression rather than the words you say. A forced smile will come across as insincere. Tension can also be seen in your face with a wrinkled forehead or a pursed or tight-lipped mouth. Eye rolling and disapproving looks can have powerful negative effects on communication.
If you have to say something negative, take the time to sit down and have a meaningful conversation with the other person, and your body language will naturally be more consistent with your message.
On the plus side, if you’re excited about something, don’t be afraid to show it. When your face lights up, the energy you create is contagious and spreads sunshine to others.
At the heart of communication is paying attention to your eye contact and facial expressions if you want others to pay attention to you and feel the connection that creates a bond of trust and friendship.
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