Can You Change Language On A Console From Another Country What Can I Leave Behind?

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What Can I Leave Behind?

What started as a bountiful year took a sour turn after the summer. After an immobilizing tooth infection, a heartbreaking breakup, and nights plagued with sleep paralysis and insomnia, I found myself struggling through the rest of 2016 with what few gasps I had left. Between having to deal with my dad getting sick and looking for freelance work, I did a pretty decent job of pretending everything was okay; no one suspected anything.

But it was a different story on the inside. And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did.

I found out in early December that my grandfather was dying.

The news did not come as a shock. With a prosperous life of 90 years, my grandfather had shrunk over the last decade to a skeleton bent on life. What remains now is a silhouette of a man who left his hometown and emigrated to another part of the world in search of a better life for himself and his bride; a feat of bravery and perseverance. When I last saw him six months ago, I was struck with awe and tenderness; sitting in front of me was a frail man who couldn’t remember me, but still smiled and patted my back with a set of bony trembling fingers. The grandfather who used to tell the best stories and tickled me to tears was no longer there; he was now a man who surrendered faster than ever in the air.

Watching a grandparent die is not easy, but having done it before, I now understand that death is simpler than a life lived in pain and anguish. The hard part, on the other hand, is watching your parents fall apart as they brace themselves for that life-changing phone call. My mother, from whom I inherited my sensitive side, is a woman easily swayed by anger, melancholy and passion. Her emotions peak and fall with the gentlest of currents, and although they are mostly unwarranted and unnecessary, her tears always fill my heart with sadness. But to comfort her, I have to play the role of the strong one, the rock and the support system while I’m breaking on the inside because there’s nothing worse than watching your parents cry.

But what can you say to someone who confronts the most – if not the only – essential fact of life, namely that we cannot avoid death? With its firm grip, death comes to us all, seizing our parents, our children, our friends and finally us. And it is only in this moment of receiving that terrible phone call or the last goodbye in a dark hospital room that we realize it, if only for a few days while we prepare for a funeral and receive hundreds of empty condolences.

With the impending doom hanging over us from the moment we are cast out into the world, are we really living? I spent the remaining few weeks of the year on my existence; how long will I hold on to finding happiness in a paycheck, a busy Sunday morning, or a growing stack of business cards? Like every other person on earth, I yearn to leave a legacy, but after much thought, I realized that perhaps this is not my purpose in life.

So why do we feel the need to leave something tangible behind? A son to carry our name, a business empire, a collection of precious items? Wouldn’t everything be handed over to a group of aliens to take over once you’re six feet under anyway? Why don’t we choose to leave behind a gentle word, kindness and love?

The ideas of legacy are misinterpreted and riddled with pride, ego and greed. Like our flesh and blood, money and big houses decay and dissolve and what remains are memories and stories. My grandfather is a poor man who comes from a poor family with only a meager amount of money to leave behind. However, the story of how he managed to build a life in a country where he did not speak the language or understand the culture will live on forever. His kindness to strangers and generosity to neighbors were illustrations of his values ​​in the community and in the region. I have often heard stories about his grace and goodness from complete strangers.

So is he aware of the lurking shadows of death? Does he welcome it? Having lived such a life, I believe he is. I tell my mother that as I hold her close to my chest, the roles of mother and daughter have reversed for a few moments. I’m talking about his gentle smile and the way he lavished it on everyone who crossed his path. I’m talking about the way he spent every afternoon in his books, his fingers scanning the pages and how he always had new knowledge to share. I remind her of how he spread his wealth even when he had nothing.

And so, dear death, I see you hiding in the corner. We are not afraid of you because you can never take away the most valuable thing that my grandfather would leave behind, and that is that one’s legacy lies in good deeds and not in bank accounts.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is engraved in the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” – Shannon L. Alder

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